Music Video Review!! Lil Dicky’s “Earth” is the Worst Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Rapper Lil Dicky, in animated form, just as confused as I am as to how successful his trash music video became. Featuring Ariana Grande as a Zebra who “doesn’t know what she does, but looks pretty cool”.

I debated writing this review for a bit. It’s not technically of a movie, this is a music video that was trending at #1 for three days and garnered nearly 20 million views in that time frame. On the other hand, people are praising this as both hilarious and heartwarming. I, however, ended the video with a feeling of absolute horror. What had I just seen?? It was pure, unadulterated, flaming garbage. The comedy was, well, nonexistent. The lyrics were devoid of creativity, my IQ dropped severely listening to a star-studded ensemble of singers impersonate animals. So if you enjoyed this video, I’m sorry. I’m here to end your happiness. Let’s break down this monstrosity in celebration of Earth Day:

“wEEeee LoOOvE tHe EaRTh, iTT izZ our PlAAAAnet. wEE lOve tHe eARth, iT iZZ oUr HoOOmE”. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your refrain. I’m astounded by the creativity and level of awareness that rapper Lil Dicky has for the plight of our violent and polluted planet. Bravo, Lil Dicky, you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. But his creativity doesn’t end there, ooooh no Sir! Lil Dicky, literally animated and clad in a loincloth, zooms his way to Africa and across the world, as he meets some of Earth’s finest creatures (Including Kanye West) as they introduce themselves with high quality, 5th grade vocabulary. Here’s some examples: (Justin Bieber) “Hi, I’m a baboon. I’m like a man, just less advanced, and my anus is huge”. (Wiz Khalifa) “I’m a disgruntled skunk, shoot you out my butthole”. (Shawn Mendes) “We’re just some rhinos, horny as heck”. (Lil Yaghty) “I’m HPV, don’t let me in”.

I am truly in awe of how painfully unfunny this lyricism is. Lil Dicky could’ve made some good comedy from this, however, he chose the ever-risky “awkward one-liner” route. I thought his last endeavor into comedy, “Pillow Talk”, was pretty funny, but more for any other reason because of how quickly it escalates from a piece of self aware “bad trap music” to total absurdity. It’s hardly a song by the end, turning into more of a comedic sketch. “Earth” is a total half-assed attempt at seeming aimless direction, resulting in a mess that is neither comedy nor music.

Beyond poor lyrics and a lack of comedic direction, this music video has almost no flow of logic, and the beat is not remotely catchy. Lil Dicky just attempts to throw in whatever crap he can about how we’re all ruining the world for ourselves, with groan-worthy lines such as “But these days, it’s like we don’t know how to act, all these shootings, pollution, we under attack”. I can’t tell if this thing is supposed to be a real song or an actual comedic vid. If it had ended on a supremely ridiculous comedic note, I’d have a better idea. But instead, it concludes with generic lines about peace and love and unity. I don’t think there’s any sarcasm here, especially since he’s apparently donating all add revenue to charity. It seems as though Lil Dicky truly means to deliver a song and music video that people will watch and listen to unironically. This blows my mind.

I will give credit where its due. Somehow, Lil Dicky got Leonardo DiCaprio to voice himself in all the glory of a Sims character. Only time I chuckled in this whole mess.

Is Lil Dicky responsible for adding substance to the discussion of global chaos? No, of course not. But when you make a cringe-fest music video and put zero creativity into the lyricism, you might as well attempt to add some sort of twist to make the project unique to your identity. Lil Dicky doesn’t do this. In one of the last lines, Lil Dicky says “We’re not making music for aliens here”. Welllllll… sure as hell sounds like he is. What could’ve been a funny project resulted in a brain dump of stupid jokes from the depths of Lil Dicky’s mind, where they’ve resided since Middle School.

Happy Earth Day everyone. Please make sure to take care of the planet, especially since Lil Dicky has done extra damage with this hot garbage.