Confess, Fletch Apparently Exists

You know the rules – Hollywood can’t make anything anymore unless it’s connected to something people already know. Because profits. So what obscure franchise can we dig up this time? Hmm… How about Fletch? Remember FLETCH?

No, no I don’t. I was not born at the time, so I do not remember Fletch. Also, I heard no anything about this film coming out, until like two days before it came out, and all the critics were like ‘oh hey, there’s a new Fletch movie and it’s not half bad.’

So I’m here to tell you – there’s a new Fletch movie and it’s not half bad.

In third place for the ‘Fletch’s funniest female side character’, we have Ayden Mayeri as the bumbling rookie detective Gris

This new version stars Jon Hamm as Fletch, doing (I guess?) Fletch stuff? I really don’t know anything about the original Fletch, and I’m too lazy to look that shit up. But Jon Hamm is a comic genius, as always, and he plays the character with a pitch-perfect blend of aloofness and mucky charm.

In second place, we have Annie Mumolo as Eve, the absurdly inept and hysterically unaware neighbor

Although it’s technically about a crime, it’s like The Nice Guys or The Big Lebowski, insofar as the crime plot is secondary to the real plot, which is a bunch of characters being funny for ninety minutes. Good lord what a talented ensemble cast.

The winner, by a clear mile, is Marcia Gay Harden as the gleefully seductive countess

I have two main problems though. One is that the film doesn’t utilize the cast enough. Sure, there are some fantastic back-and-forths, some witty verbal spars, some perfectly timed quips. Jon Hamm in particular has some phenomenal lines.

BUT! There was one scene where nearly every character was in the same room at the same time, and it lasted for all of a minute before everybody dispersed. It was such a fucking letdown: establishing all these unique characters, setting up a scene where they all interact, and then… not doing anything with it. I’ll give the writers credit for the rest of the script, but I was legit stunned at how poorly they squandered that setup.

John Slattery wins an honorable mention as ‘Fletch’s funniest female side character’ – though regrettably, there were no Mad Men easter eggs

My other problem, which was honestly a big deal for me, was that Kyle MacLachlan was TERRIBLE in it. He was NOT funny. At all. I partly blame the screenwriters, because they didn’t give him much to work with other than ‘hey you’re a germaphobe, that’s it’, but I was still floored at how unimpressive and unfunny he was compared to literally everyone else… I’ll write it off this once, cause Twin Peaks, but come on…

Kyle MacLachlan doesn’t get a picture

Now, is this movie a masterpiece? Is it as good as Vengeance? (shameless plug for my Vengeance review). No. It’s very amusing and diverting if you don’t have much else to watch, and you’re a fan of goofy crime movies. And the fact that there was no buzz around the film helped, because I went in with almost zero expectations. But… let’s be real, I probably won’t remember it in a week.

Well, I will remember my boy Kyle phoning it in… RIP…

Rating: 6.1 / 10

Oh also, the movie gets credit for mentioning Covid, without being about Covid. It’s the first movie I’ve seen where the characters live in a post-demic world, but they establish that early on, and they don’t make a big deal of it beyond one or two lines of dialogue. Low-key, this is how all movies should tie in Covid from now on.

Updated Rating: 6.11 / 10