Sorry if I cover the same ground as YMS – haven’t seen his video yet, but planning to. But holy shit, Avatar: The Way of Water is such a ridiculous fucking film. Where to begin?
— The fan-service, plot rehashing, and ‘member berries are obnoxious and everywhere. The lack of creativity is staggering.
— Speaking of rehashes… the third act is basically Titanic. I’m convinced James Cameron straight up ran out of ideas by that point.
— Mah Jake!
— Confused about that last line? Good. Because that’s what every scene of the movie felt like. Tons of non-sequiturs, tangents, and weird-ass Chekhov’s guns that never get fired (like the whale oil… um… dafuq?).
— The editing is shockingly bad – the pacing is atrocious, and the transitions between scenes are abrupt, confusing, and without coherence. I blame it partly on laziness, and partly on the THREE HOUR RUNTIME!
— There are whole stretches of the film with no dialogue, which as Burnt Orange pointed out, is like watching a screensaver, not a movie.
— Speaking of dialogue… The writing is terrible. From Jake’s eye-rolling cheesy monologues, to the teenagers saying ‘bro’ every other line, to the dumb-ass marines talking like… dumb-ass marines… It’s virtually impossible to take anything anyone says seriously.
— The high frame rate is distracting as fuck, and makes you feel like you’re watching a glorified video game. One of the most de-mersive ‘cinematic breakthroughs’ I’ve ever suffered through.
— The snap zooms are awful, overused, and-
Oh yeah, remember Rogue One? Now that was a cringe sequel. I guess I’m glad that Avatar 2 isn’t part of the Star Wars or Marvel universes.
Come to think of it, the 3D was kinda cool. And pretty much all the underwater shit was fucking awesome. Can’t say I’ll watch it again, definitely not in 48fps, and definitely not with a straight face.
But I guess it wasn’t not entertaining… It may also be the perfect meme movie, so that’s a plus. Eh. *shrugs*
Rating: 5/10
